Oh! So Ugly



Oh! So ugly.

All that was once considered “ugly” is now hitting the fashion world like a hurricane. I have granted myself the honour of naming it Hurricane Helga, just to give you a good mental picture of how large and devastating these trends will be.

Ugly Face & Feet

Freckles are being recognized as beautiful, so much so that people are getting freckles tattooed onto their faces. I will not shame freckles as i have always thought they are magnificent and have some freckles myself. But if you do not, I don’t recommend lying in the sun trying to obtain them. There is actually a much safer way to do that. Henna ink and its only R20 a tube at China Mall.

Crocs, the clear marking of a person full of shame and no dignity, I happen to be one of those people.

A decent, three years ago. I purchased my very own pair of Crocs and not for the benefits of comfort or breathable feet but to rather test my courage in fashion. Luckily, boat-feet is not an issue for me because I wear a tiny size 37 shoe. I even went as far as getting studs, one of a flower and the other of Mickey Mouse. It’s safe to say I had no fears in wearing my Crocs out in public and if I may say so myself I rocked them.

Finally, Balenciaga collaborated with Crocs and sent as unstoppable pair of platform, stud covered Crocs down the runway and the fashion world went crazy over them. Despite the $850 price tag, they were sold out before they were even released.

Ugly Nails

Isn’t it wonderful to know that you no longer have to spend excessive amounts of money, that you don’t have on acrylic tips? Now, short nails are in! And goodbye to intricate nail art. Minimalist nail art is trending, simple lines or dots will do. If you’re struggling to pick a colour go for Primary colours or don’t even bother because natural nails will soon be the biggest trend. Not only will we start saving money but we now have the chance to grow and strengthen our nails too! It’s like when the Engen garage has the two for one special on Cadbury chocolate. #winning

Ugly Hair

It’s time to get rid of that GHD, straight hair is in the past and if you don’t have naturally curly hair like me you can always cut some bangs (professionally). Curls & Bangs are back! And yes, you can pair the two, throw a scrunchie in the equation and you’re one of the trendiest ladies in the city.

Scrunchie – Simple hair-elastic covered in excessive amounts of wicked velvet, patterned, silky or corduroy fabric. Popular in the 80’s and early 90’s.

If that’s not hideously sexy, what is?

Ugly Clothes

Baggy clothes? Shoulder pads? Rainbow stripes? Mismatched socks? Yes! It seems that we have hopped into a time machine back to the 80s & stolen their biggest and ugliest trends to claim them as our own. Soon, we are all going to be walking around like we just walked off the set of The Tweenies.

My top favourite ugly trend has to go to colourful opaque stockings & I have already purchased myself a pair in yellow and one in red (you could’ve guessed that).  

Name brands, name brands everywhere! Unfortunately, while saving money on our nails, if we want to be hip in the upcoming seasons we going to have to be spending that Moola, remember Mxit, on the most basic tee with the biggest and boldest brand name printed across your chest.

Ugly Accessories

Moon bags already began trending, but it seems very few took a liking to strapping them around their waists, like a tourist afraid of getting robbed would do. Well, moon-bags have not given up on convincing us and do not fear, wearing them around your waist is so last year. Now, you can sling that moon-bag across your chest, so that everyone can see you’re stylish AF.

Heart shaped glasses with colour tinted lenses will be setting a new kind of filter onto the world around us.  Who cares if they don’t block out the harsh 2018 sun? They’re stylish, right? Right!

Big & chunky door knocker earring. Now, don’t go stealing the door knockers off your neighbours doors but be prepared for your ears to stretch. Doorknocker or any statement earrings are an essential accessory in 2018. They really do add pzazz to an outfit and may just be the only accessory you really need. 

Remember those sparkly studs? That they even created a machine for, The Be Dazzler, the one we used to “add sparkle and excitement to any outfit quickly and easily?” Well, g-d hopes you kept yours up in your cupboard since the 90’s because those bedazzling studs have returned to haunt our jeans and handbags.

 In my honest opinion, we should not fear these upcoming trends but rather embrace them to the fullest and better yet, get creative & make them our own. But by no means do I recommend embracing all these trends in one outfit, socks and Crocs are still a no go in my books.



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